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Bell’s Let’s Talk campaign is on to

Bell’s Let’s Talk campaign is on to

Yes, Indeed, Let’s Talk

This truly is a brilliant way to have us talking about Mental Health which affects so many and what better way to bring a topic that has been in the shadows for so long out and shed light upon it?

Let’s come together to find ways to help each other cope with depression or schizophrenia and the myriad of other symptoms our Mental Health professionals deal with daily.

One way is to talk about it so that the stigma of having a mental disorder is lessened.  There are so many people suffering because they don’t want to Talk about It out of fear and shame. Time for less judgment.

Clearly more needs to be done but this is a great way to create awareness.

Long-standing Grief & Depression

Another awareness I’d like to create is how grief can add a person to this ever-growing list for those requiring professional help.  Grief if not dealt with can result in severe depression or suicide.  It can sap a person’s life for years after the death occurred.  Grieving is a full body response weakening the immune system and causing health issues.

Not everyone grieving will end up with severe depression or with the symptoms outlined above.  However, that is yet another topic to be discussed and explored.

As science advances unlocking the knowledge to help explain why some mental health issues occur can we then take steps to help prevent the onset.

Mindfulness, breathing, exercise, walking or journaling are some of the tools being used.  Reframing and working on mindset are yet others. Eating healthy and getting more sleep.  Learning to relax and taking days off our electronic devices are just some examples of techniques being implemented or suggested.

Giving our brains a chance to daydream and take time out is another.

However, nothing is ever quite as simplistic and if you feel you grieving and have been for a while please seek professional help.

Regardless of grief, reach out to someone you know and talk to them about what you are noticing.  A simple kindness, someone to speak to can make the world of difference.

 

Please let’s talk……..

 

As a grief coach, I am available. Please Chose life and Chose you because we are all here to make a difference in someone’s life.

 

 

The Journey – A Beginning, Middle & End

The river of life flows through us all

Then when a death occurs, we get to fall

into Grief’s Abyss, a dark unfamiliar place

Down into the valley where we all must face

How to cope with all the changes

when the familiar landscape rearranges

Gone are the roads and highways once traveled

as our lives become unraveled

 

We’ve taken a wrong turn; we’re not meant to be here

We look around us and go into fear

as our compass resets and the road on the map shows

we must follow this path along where the river flows

Through a forest of Grief, this pathway we see

widens and intersects—which to take so we’ll be free?

One road leads to the flatlands, which go on for miles

there is nothing of interest it seems that will bring back smiles

 

The other has a roundabout with three roads just around a bend

Guilt, anger, and acceptance; oh, when will this journey end

Choose one, for the only way through is to openly mourn

So many people have traveled here long before you were born

Each has found his or her own way out and you will too

You will leave this land behind to face life anew

The climb back is steep; let me lead the way

I know you doubt, “How does she know?” I hear you say

 

For I have traveled through here some time ago

I got to claim my prize, Grief’s Gifts and I’m now in life’s flow

A review of your journey will show where you’ve been

glimpses of your growth, goals, and purpose all seen

We are all here to welcome you back for we know you are worthy

You’ve been gone for a while on your own a Hero’s journey

Whenever we get back into the river of life that flows through us all,

We’ll take comfort—we have our map and are ready if we fall

into Grief’s Abyss for we know

 

The Wheels of Samsara turn; the cycle of life continues

Lets Talk About Grief – Podcast

Find Out How Juicing can help you if you are Grieving – (hint can boost your energy)

Isabel Richli of www.LadyJeunesse.com, is an author and coach and has written a series of book on juicing and their benefits.   “First Steps into Diet for Health” is the first book of the series.  Isabel used freshly squeezed juices to restore her health and she is now passionate about helping other women in pain.  Isabel at 45 had been suffering for many years with severe pain and in 2009 her journey began when she searched into alternative ways to help her.  Isabel began using juices for 5 days as recommended and on the 5th day she noted was pain free.  There were also two other benefits she noted.

During our interview today, you will learn more about Isabel’s journey and I can assure you she will be sharing those benefits with us.  This topic may also be of interest if you’re:

  • unable to find the energy to cook
  • looking for a holistic way to ease the constant pain in your body
  • desiring to lose additional pounds
  • wanting to look healthier and younger

Isabel will also share 3 juicy tips on the show – enjoy!

To connect with Isabel for more information or to sign up for her coaching here is the information you will need.

LadyJeunesse.com

Petit Manuel du Debutant: des Jus frais dans votre cuisine

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How to Face your Fears

How to Face your Fears

Whats you Big WHY_ (2)

Extroverts/Introverts – fears plague us both regardless. Extroverts are those folk who get their energy from being in crowds, whereas this will drain an Introvert – we need alone time to recharge. We think of introverts as not being comfortable being “out there” speaking in front of crowds or speaking up in general. This was why I made the comment in a recent blog about being a coach and soon to be author. I promised to share in that blog how I had walked towards overcoming my fears to do so. I hope this will help you also.

First, I need to go back to where and why I declared “Yes” in the first place as I use this as my guiding light, my big “Why”. It is my motivation as I’m faced with my fears of “I can’t write, who will listen to me, who would want to buy this book, or how can I help those in grief, I don’t have what it takes” and then there are those challenging beliefs of “not being good enough, smart enough, knowledgeable enough”. Isn’t it always the way when you decide to step out of your comfort zone? It is either the niggling little voice in the head or your family or worse dear friends, that bring up the “what ifs”.

When these arise, I think back to that day. It was my first workshop at the Grief Coach Academy in Los Angeles. This was the session in the workshop where we were taken through an exercise called “Deathbed regrets”. When we had done our review, we got to share it with our partner. A story was then shared about a woman who had been faced with her own death at 75. Shortly after she realized she had been given a second a chance to live and decided that she was not going to waste one more moment living in fear. She went on to live an amazing 15 more years where she brought pleasure and joy to not only her own life and family but to so many others as well. When she died, 300 people attended her funeral. That was a testament to the lives she had gone on to touch.

This story really impacted me to the point of me having an Aha moment as we continued to discuss and share what we would do with our new understanding. This exercise was very emotional, such a revelation and brought me to tears. It was now or never. I didn’t want to die without trying. When the facilitator asked “did anyone want to share”? Someone surely would I thought. Suddenly the facilitator and everyone in the room were looking in my direction. My partner was pointing to me. Horrors, I was still sobbing, how could I get up and face the crowd and share what I had intimately shared with my partner? However, with gentle coaxing and encouraged by all, they got me to stand up and share. In that moment, it was as if in my declaration, my power returned and this would allow me to move forward with becoming a coach and future author. It was the possibilities in that moment where my strength to move forward and continue on comes from. Regardless of the outcome, what was the worst that could happen if it didn’t work out – what really was there to lose? There would be no deathbed regret.

That was my motivator, my declaration. This was and is a process. Each day brought new opportunities, new learning and new challenges to face my inadequacies and grow. I suddenly didn’t just announce “Yes” and voila, these magically happened. It is like riding a bike. The training wheels will come off when you feel comfortable. Instead of jumping into a Toast Master’s group which terrified me. I joined a business networking group instead. Each week, I get to practice speaking in from of 20 people, each time is done with a little more ease. So life, when you are open to it, will bring these opportunities for growth. We just need to stay present enough to look out for them.

I now look forward, albeit a little nervously, to coaching many people through their grief and helping them to “not get stuck”, thus contributing my part and being of service.

Just in case you are wondering. This is a little of what I shared with my partner. You will find it and more in my forthcoming book………….

Please enjoy!
With Dad’s death, I found myself questioning my own life and its meaning. As I moved on without his presence, everything seemed meaningless and confusing. During this time, I thought about how much time on Earth I may have left. Twenty to thirty years … Wow, I had never thought about my life in this manner before. How quickly this time would likely go by. Somehow this brought my life into perspective. Twenty to thirty years didn’t seem long at all. I thought to myself that I better start living and stop putting my dreams and goals off until tomorrow.
How quickly my fears arose. According to Freud, fear of death is universal to the human condition. This certainly didn’t bring me any comfort. We all are aware that we will die some day, but that is so far off in the future that we fail to think about that fateful day very much. With the death of someone close, your own demise suddenly seems plausible and real. My fear was pure resistance and wanting to run back to a time when I felt safe. According to Stephen Levine in his book A Year to Live, “Fear leans backward to the last safe moment, while desire leans forward toward the next possibility.”

Move forward to your desires regardless of being an introvert or extrovert. Please don’t allow a label or your fears to hold you back.

 

Whats you Big WHY_ (2)Whats you Big WHY_ (2)Whats you Big WHY_ (2)

Clearing Clutter Now Save Heartache and Headache Later!

Clearing Clutter Now Save Heartache and Headache Later!

Clouds-clutter

Ever noticed how much more spacious your room looks once all the Christmas stuff has been removed? When I noticed this, it inspired me not to put back all the ornaments I had previously removed to make the house look festive. Instead, I became ruthless and got rid of a lot of stuff. It started with the Christmas storage boxes. I removed the broken and no longer fashionable or wanted decorations from the boxes. The result is I now have 4 boxes instead of 6 – progress!

My desire is to de-clutter the whole house. I even cleared out the space where I stored the Christmas boxes. By the time I finished, I had cleared off several shelves in the old bookcase we had put there for additional storage. I was then able to move the extra books that were cluttering up my office space. These were novels that I had read and just knew I wouldn’t reread them, so I put these on the newly vacated shelves, not to keep mind. I would pass along to friends or check if the local church could sell them at their next bazaar.

I adore books which is why I have four bookshelves full of books in my office space. I often pick one up for inspiration for writing when I get stuck. Now that the additional books (they were stacked double on the shelves so I could no longer see the books behind them) had been put away, everything in the office looked clear and spacious once more. It felt so good, hard to believe what an amazing feeling organizing can be. Christmas was now neatly stored away and my office too was clutter free. I felt more expansive as well with this good feeling – accomplishment.

Alas my free time I had given myself over the weekend was at an end and the week was about to begin. I would need to schedule in time in the coming weeks to continue my purging.

It wasn’t just the putting away of Christmas that had me spurred on and charged me up about getting rid of stuff – no I was indeed doing it for my family. Why, what would happen to all the stuff, who would sort it, cherish it, want it, remember it the way my husband and I did? You see we do plan eventually to downsize once our home and gardens get too much for us to handle. So why not start now? It was the thoughts of how all our stuff would make our children feel as they sorted it and got rid of our life when we eventually die?

I had recently gone through this exercise with my sister and daughter as we emptied out my parent’s apartment. Mum’s memory had gotten worse and she was now in a senior’s residence. Most of dad’s life had been removed when he died but there were still lots there to tug at the heart strings, his music book, art supplies for instance as well as special dishes mum had loved and were meant to be treasured – well these came home with us. We had two weeks to clear it out. It was hard, so many memories, what to keep, what to sell, was on our minds. Mum was able to take quite a bit with her which was great but there was still so much other stuff. I lost count of the times my sister and I went to the garbage chute with bags of stuff. Mementos, odd photos of friends we had never met or places that meant nothing other than captured moments of time in their lives – these certainly had no sentiments for us. In the end, if I didn’t want a home filled with all this – out it had to go. It was either now or later when we too no longer cared or were deceased. It would mean even less to our children.

It is also difficult for a child even though they may be adults to go though their parent’s belongings. There seems to be a sacredness, a vulnerability at seeing it all. Exposing them and reducing their lives to stuff, to memories and photos. As it was so hard on us, I am starting to clear out now. I hope not to continue to collect more. I have a new rule, if I get a new one, then the old has to go – no more “I’ll keep it just in case”. The same goes for my closets, if I have not worn it in 2 years – out to charities that can sell it to fund what they truly need.

We certainly can’t take it with us so enjoy it now and then pass it along. Stop the attachments and need to hoard. This is the clarity I received from my exercise this weekend.

Think of those, our family and children who will have to clear it up for us. Perhaps payback time for all the times we picked up and cleaned up their room! I have chosen to make it easier for them. I’ll do it while I’m still living. This will save them heartache and headaches of doing it later.

New Years Resolutions with a twist!

New Years Resolutions with a twist!

wfh_relaxing

Like so many of us, this is the time of year where you get to decide what you want to stop or do more of in the upcoming year. It is the question on most people’s minds “have you made your New Year’s resolutions?”

“Why, you may reply, you never seem to keep them, you may have given up!

This year, I am going to try something new. I was reading a friend’s post earlier and she used one word to guide her. Curious, I did a quick review of this year to see if I could find what my one word may have been. It was a resounding “Yes” yes to my life that I declared actually last November 13. This was my mantra that carried over for this year. What will it be for 2015? I got quiet, closed my eyes and started to breathe and the word came to me.

The word was “Balance” perfect, I thought. This year proved to be off the charts in awesomeness and I said “Yes” to most of what came to me that I wouldn’t normally. Being an introvert, I find putting myself out there to be rather daunting, however, as I had said yes to becoming a grief coach and yes to authoring a book. I was sure that these two passions of mine would require me to be a little bit more extroverted. This is what saying “Yes” actually helped me to do. I found when I said “Yes” then all my fears rose up to let me know why I shouldn’t be doing it. How did I silence the fears – well that is a Blog for another day!

Now as I sit down to plan, I will use that word as my guiding light, my North Star so to speak.  Just looking at what is already planned for my first quarter, is enough to make me want to hibernate. Over the next few days I will let you know how it works. In the meantime what word could you use to guide you?

Oh, my friend’s word last year was “Visibility” – which was perfect for her as she was focusing on launching her business.

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