Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate and honour the amazing mothers in our lives. But for those who have lost a child, Mother’s Day can be a painful reminder of what could have been. It’s a complex mix of emotions, as you navigate the grief of losing your child while trying to find ways to celebrate. To also honour your motherhood or your own mother, grandma. We’ll explore some rituals and strategies that can provide comfort on this challenging day and help you cope with the pain and heartache that comes with losing a child.
Acknowledge Your Feelings:
One of the hardest parts of Mother’s Day after loss is navigating your emotions. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or any other emotion that comes up. Try to acknowledge these feelings and give yourself permission to feel them. Journalling, creating art, talking to a trusted friend, or solace in the arms of your mother. if you need it are just a few ways that have helped others. Shedding tears of joy in remembering as well as sadness helps the body rebalance. Remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel it’s what works for you in honouring your feelings and emotions.
Create a Ritual:
Many people find comfort in creating a special ritual to honour their child on Mother’s Day. This could be anything from releasing balloons in their honour to lighting a candle in their memory, visiting a park that you enjoyed with them, walking in nature, or even talking to them. Choose something that feels meaningful and comforting to you, and make it a part of your yearly tradition. This helps you to feel close to your child and to keep their memory alive.
Connect with Others:
Grief can be isolating, but connecting with others who understand your pain can help you feel less alone. Consider joining a support group or contacting others who have also lost a child. Make plans with friends or family members who are supportive and understanding. You don’t have to go through this day alone.
Mother’s Day can feel overwhelming when you’re unsure of what to expect. Plan ahead by deciding how you want to spend the day. Do you want to stay home and have a quiet day to yourself, or do you want to make plans with loved ones? Decide what feels right for you and make those plans in advance so you don’t have to make any last-minute decisions.
Focus on Your Love: Ultimately, Mother’s Day is about love and celebrating the special bond between a mother and child. Even though your child is no longer with you, that love and bond still exist. Spend some time focusing on the love you have for your child, and the love that your child had for you. Write them a letter, or spend some time looking at photos or keepsakes that remind you of them. Focus on the love that will always be a part of your life.
Honouring your child on Mother’s Day after a loss can be a challenging and emotional experience, but it’s important to remember that there are rituals and strategies that can provide comfort and help you cope with the pain and heartache. Remember to acknowledge your feelings, create a special ritual, connect with others, plan ahead, and focus on the love that exists between you and your child. You are not alone, and there is no right or wrong way to navigate this day. Give yourself grace, and know that your child’s memory will always be a part of your motherhood journey.
This year, as we celebrate the mothers in our lives, let’s also take some time to remember those who grieve.
Let’s Talk About Grief Podcast Interview
I recently interviewed one such mother, whose child died and she shares her journey you can listen to her story HERE
To further support you – Here are a few episodes that might help bring you comfort as you hear from others whose children have died also.
Colin Campbell – Channeling Grief & Rage after Double Tragedy into Something Great- Colin found rituals comforting and created many of them
Michelle Benyo – Understanding a Child’s loss after a siblings death – son’s death from cancer
Ivan Maisel – Healing from the Pain of Loss, One Parent’s Story of Son’s Suicide
David Roberts – Turning a Father’s Pain into Purpose and Perspective – the loss of his daughter
You’ll find others on the Podcast that ultimately will help you feel less alone and hopefully listen to how others have navigated their own loss and found hope