Searching for Happiness

by Anne | Nov 23, 2015 | Blog

Searching for happiness is a common theme these days.  A whole industry has been built around this desire. Could this be this answer? Underlying the loss of happiness could grief be lurking?  Many of us, myself included are searching for happiness.  Happiness is our birthright and a natural emotion.  Just watch a young child.  They may laugh and end up crying all within a short time space.  Children know how to release their emotions and when they do, happiness returns.  It is the grownups who shut them down.

Loss comes in many packages and many unrecognized losses go undetected because of unawareness.  It is known that when there is a death in the family grief will enter and happiness will leave for a time. Did you know that many other losses can have the same effect?

Here is a list of just some of the many losses you may have had over time and unwittingly stuffed down any emotions you felt.  With each loss, a piece of happiness may have been removed. It may not have been convenient, the loss you felt was trivial, one not recognized by our society or even frowned upon.  There are many reasons to discount.

How many losses can you add to your list?

(not listed in order of importance):

Loss of a relationship

Death of a child

Left country of origin, with loss of family and friends

Job loss

Pet loss

Terminal illness

Death of family member or friend

Death of a colleague

Large layoffs in company – you get to keep your job

Loss of baby before term

Other

I feel certain you can add others.

A 3 day workshop addressing Grief

I recently attended a 3 day workshop on grief and many in our group also didn’t recognize that these losses can result in feelings of grief. Many in our group had come to the workshop, not because they were going through grief themselves but to learn more from a career perspective.  What they and myself learned was that we all could add many of the above to our list.  The exercise we did allowed us to see these losses in different stages of our own lives.  If it can happen in a group of 22, can you imagine how many people throughout the world have unexamined grief due to a loss (es)?

Our emotions are energy and if not released can get stuck and may cause depressions or other illnesses within the body.  One counsellor reported that under PTSD, drug and alcohol addictions, grief was the underlying cause.

I have learned that Grief requires much inner work, where as mourning is the outer such as wailing, crying or sobbing. Stuffing in emotions is certainly not the answer and neither is trying logically thinking our way out.

Please take time today to recognize what you may be silently grieving and do your inner and outer work.  You will be so happy you did, for happiness is sure to return.  Unsure how to do this.  Connect with grief organizations and they will be happy to assist you.

There is so much unresolved grief out there.  Connect with them or connect with me for a 1:1 at reconnect-from-grief.com

In the meantime, don’t fear your emotions, you will find they are your best friends and guidance.

Grieve well my friends – until Happiness returns

Here is a link to the Bereavement Families of Ottawa www.bfo-ottawa.org