How I Supported my best friend through her end of life transition – Jane Jackson Soul Coach and Energy Practioner (to read more about Deborah & Jane’s journey together here is the link)
https://www.thriveglobal.com/stories/28498-my-best-friends-funeral
When Faced with Difficulty
What do you do, when your best friend is diagnosed with MS and possibly has two years to live? This was what Jane was faced with and this interview is about their journey together. Jane did what you would expect of a good friend, she jumped in to support her in so many ways. Helping her with daily living, supporting, planning her funeral together and dealing alone with the rawness of it all.
This journey was an emotionally charged one, instead of closing down they remained open, vulnerable and available to each other. Jane never judged her friend or tried to talk her out of it when she heard she was choosing suicide to end her life. For Deborah, wanted to leave on her terms and not be defined by her illness as she progressively got weaker.
However, the is an interesting and heartwarming twist to their story. One that will have you questioning “Is the choice to die really ours to make” or is there something more powerful at work here.”
Searching for happiness is a common theme these days. A whole industry has been built around this desire. Could this be this answer? Underlying the loss of happiness could grief be lurking? Many of us, myself included are searching for happiness. Happiness is our birthright and a natural emotion. Just watch a young child. They may laugh and end up crying all within a short time space. Children know how to release their emotions and when they do, happiness returns. It is the grownups who shut them down.
Loss comes in many packages and many unrecognized losses go undetected because of unawareness. It is known that when there is a death in the family grief will enter and happiness will leave for a time. Did you know that many other losses can have the same effect?
Here is a list of just some of the many losses you may have had over time and unwittingly stuffed down any emotions you felt. With each loss, a piece of happiness may have been removed. It may not have been convenient, the loss you felt was trivial, one not recognized by our society or even frowned upon. There are many reasons to discount.
How many losses can you add to your list?
(not listed in order of importance):
Loss of a relationship
Death of a child
Left country of origin, with loss of family and friends
Job loss
Pet loss
Terminal illness
Death of family member or friend
Death of a colleague
Large layoffs in company – you get to keep your job
Loss of baby before term
Other
I feel certain you can add others.
A 3 day workshop addressing Grief
I recently attended a 3 day workshop on grief and many in our group also didn’t recognize that these losses can result in feelings of grief. Many in our group had come to the workshop, not because they were going through grief themselves but to learn more from a career perspective. What they and myself learned was that we all could add many of the above to our list. The exercise we did allowed us to see these losses in different stages of our own lives. If it can happen in a group of 22, can you imagine how many people throughout the world have unexamined grief due to a loss (es)?
Our emotions are energy and if not released can get stuck and may cause depressions or other illnesses within the body. One counsellor reported that under PTSD, drug and alcohol addictions, grief was the underlying cause.
I have learned that Grief requires much inner work, where as mourning is the outer such as wailing, crying or sobbing. Stuffing in emotions is certainly not the answer and neither is trying logically thinking our way out.
Please take time today to recognize what you may be silently grieving and do your inner and outer work. You will be so happy you did, for happiness is sure to return. Unsure how to do this. Connect with grief organizations and they will be happy to assist you.
There is so much unresolved grief out there. Connect with them or connect with me for a 1:1 at reconnect-from-grief.com
In the meantime, don’t fear your emotions, you will find they are your best friends and guidance.
Grieve well my friends – until Happiness returns
Here is a link to the Bereavement Families of Ottawa www.bfo-ottawa.org
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