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Unconditional Love of Mothers

Unconditional Love of Mothers

Mother Nature

We look to nature as being the perfect mother. She doesn’t love you because of what you do, but she loves unconditionally without judgment. She refuses to withhold her blessings from us just because we have wronged her in some way. Sometimes, Mother Nature is known as the Great Mother or Gaia, and she has given us a blueprint for what mothering is. Our mother has given us a safe have to live and thrive.

In the same way, our physical mothers adopt and show us the same unconditional love.

Spring Arrives

Throughout the season’s mother feeds us and provides beauty as she dresses her world in the colours of each season. Spring is when she colours our world alive with flowers, which burst through the once-frozen ground to begin their life cycle. In doing so bring new promise for more beautiful things to come.

Spring is the home of so many mothers! The birds and animals that enjoy this season are doing their best to prepare for when their babies come, building nests as a place where these offspring can thrive. Everywhere we look around us at springtime there’s evidence of motherhood.

It is against this backdrop that we hold our Mother’s Day in recognition for all they’ve given to us.

May’s Celebrations

In North America Mother’s Day is celebrated later than in Europe which is held in March. Probably because this is when their spring flowers begin to bloom. I mention this as I get to celebrate with the UK as my daughter lives there then again in May. I get the best of both worlds and double spoiling as it brings me connections with my female ancestors!

Now I’m the matriarch of the family the day is all mine. I no longer share it with mum physically as she died many years ago. Although the overwhelming grief and pain I felt at her death have softened and healed long ago. The feelings of sadness and nostalgia of the many mother’s days we did celebrate come to mind. I am both grateful and thankful we had mum in our lives as long as we did. It is never easy saying goodby to a parent regardless of your age. I can only begin to imagine what it was like to be an orphan as mum had been.

Mum never let herself be a victim to her circumstances and early life upbringing, Instead, she threw herself into creating a safe and loving world for my sister and me. A world she never had. Her family meant so much to her and was her greatest joy.

It’s during Mother’s Day, that my thoughts often go to her mum, my grandma Isabella, I only know her name. I wonder what she was like and would love to have known more. It is so sad that all those memories are no longer available, nothing was written down about their lives. Mum was only 5 when her mum died.

Family Constellations

It is through my study of this work that I’m aware of how our ancestors DNA lives on within us. I can find comfort in knowing I’m carrying a long line of women who’ve survived and thrived throughout the ages. How many women in my ancestral line never met their biological mother but were raised by adoptive parents, grandparents or relatives even friends. All of their values have been passed down regardless. For all of those women who gave themselves to create life.

Mothers therefore are complex many carrying the traumas from previous generation. None the less Mothers are the nurtures, the keepers of house and hearth. They represent creation and sacrifice, they’re the compassionate nurturing ones, tender and loyal.

Our mothers are our first teachers, they show us right from wrong and how to navigate life, keeping us safe throughout our lives with them. Our mothers give us our values they ignore our faults. She holds her grief and tears wanting to show her children how to laugh and to find joy.

As mother nature gives and demands little in return from us, it’s the same for mothers everywhere. Mother provides and helps her children grow and evolve allowing the next generation to thrive in ways not available to the previous ones.

For those who have had their mothers live into their elder years, it is difficult for them to live life without them. They’ve never known life without a mother by their side. When experiencing Mother’s Day they’re uncertain how they can survive Mother’s day.

My only suggestion as Mother’s Day approaches is for daughters whose mothers are very much in their lives that they cherish the time they have with each other. Also, ask questions about their ancestors as they spend time with their mothers and not wait as I did until it’s too late.

For those grieving their mother’s this year and are unsure what to do, I invite you to connect with the Great Mother, as so many have done in the past, or go out into nature, into the woods and let nature bring you solace as your mourn.

COVID Mother’s Day

This year because of COVID 19 lockdowns, there will be many, not able to celebrate the day in person with their adult children or their mothers. I’m going to take a leaf out of my mother’s book and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I plan to enjoy a walk in nature. I can be with our Great Mother and relish her wisdom and beauty. There I’ll celebrate all mothers in my lineage in remembrance of their lives, loves, sacrifices and losses as well as their joys and accomplishments because of them, I’m here. Thank you to all.

How to Survive Mother’s Day!

How to Survive Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day is Almost Here

How can you not be reminded Mother’s Day is fast approaching!  There are the never ending TV commercials, bright displays in the stores and even the garden centres are ready to open. After all this is the one day devoted to spoiling mom.  A simpler way would be to think of Mother’s Day as a time to reflect on what your mother means to you.  Do you feel gratitude for her sacrifices and her love for you? Spoil her because you choose to not out of public guilt.

However, for some, this day could be a challenge, especially if conflict has walked between you.  Perhaps mom is your best friend and confidant. Moms overall are those special people who are always there for you and love you regardless, others are not so lucky. Mother’s Day for many then can be particularly painful especially those recently bereft, for it can be a time of heartache and pain.  A bit like pulling the band aide off a wound. The grief felt around these special days can often feel as fresh as when the person died.

Regardless of what Mother’s Day means to you; it is a Day in North America when we all celebrate our mothers, young and old, good or bad. We purchase the well worded card and flowers, a special book or chocolates. Mother’s Day brunch is always a popular one.

I always felt this guilt because I didn’t conform. Mother’s Day for me was one of dread.  I ran into trouble when I took mom for brunch. The place was never right or there was nothing on the menu to please. After years of this hurt, I chose not to put myself through this. I decided to celebrate Mother’s Day another way and another day. I always purchased a thoughtful card, for those I knew she loved to read. I would always take time to call and wish her Happy Mother’s Day. Then when the weather was warmer and the garden centres were well stocked with colourful plants, we would celebrate. My gift to her was the purchase of plants she loved.  I enjoyed this endeavor more.  I believe she did too for this way she could enjoy the flowers all season long.

I share this with you to let you know that you do not have to conform either. When you are in mourning you certainly don’t need to be reminded that the person is no longer there. However, it does help to acknowledge them on these special occasions – it is part of the healing and tears and sadness are allowed.

It may take a little up front planning.   Decide ahead time just how you would like the day to unfold. This can help be helpful to you as you get to control the day. If you were the one to always host Mother’s day with your siblings you may prefer to not host it this year. Discuss your reasons with them, they may be relieved. Perhaps you decide to go the cemetery together. Very often there are Mother’s Day services planned where you can be surrounded by others so you don’t feel so alone and can feel supported and comforted. This can be both emotional but cathartic too.

Perhaps this is a day where you do nothing except take care of yourself. You may wish to start the day by honoring your Mother, lighting a candle and sitting in quiet reflection or journaling. Allow the tears and whatever emotions you may feel to be there. You could even purchase flowers for your in her honor. Take a warm bath. Go for a walk in nature. Call a friend and chat about what you may be experiencing. Make this a guilt free day. No “what ifs or “should haves” allowed.

Of course it can be harder if you have children who will want to celebrate the day with you. You could share what you would like to happen ahead of time. A simple get together could be an opportunity for them to share with you what their grandmother meant to them. This could be healing for all as the memories are shared. Expect tears to fall but laughter will show up to lighten your mood.

You never know, this may be the year where you create your family’s new Mother’s Day ritual, allowing you to take full control of the day.

Five Mother’s Day Survival Tips

1.  Check the date & plan ahead

2. Decide to celebrate or not

3.  Make it a guilt free day

4.  Take time out for you

5.  Create a new Ritual

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