Unwelcome Conversations take courage, talking about death is never easy but necessary, it gets easier once you begin.
We plan for most things in our lives so why don’t we plan for our life’s end? Perhaps its denial, too morbid, or it’s costly to implement. Let’s imagine that you have already completed it. How do you feel? Lighter, freer, powerful knowing you’ve taken control, more relaxed, content knowing your exact wishes will be carried out and not left up to your family to figure out.
If you have aging parents you could open the conversation up with them. It may be something they’re already thinking about but were unwilling to discuss for fear of upsetting you. Opening up the conversation about your own thoughts and plans could create a meaningful conversation for both.
Thinking of our own life’s end isn’t something we readily consider until a terminal illness is given. After all the medical treatment options have been exhausted, palliative care may be considered or even medical assistance in dying (MAID) may be an option in some extreme cases.
Use your beliefs and values to guide you
Your life values and/or religious beliefs will help determine your decision. You’ll be asked many questions that may be difficult to answer when you are ill or in pain. There may come a time when you’re unable to speak for yourself and the decisions are left to your family to make.
They may un-wittingly choose the opposite of what you would have wanted. They may forever blame themselves for not knowing or doing more. Other family members could disagree resulting in feuds or legal battles.
Three Thoughts that Hold you Back
Denial – There is nothing so certain as death or taxes and living in denial that you’ll “live forever” so there is lots of time to plan later. Wouldn’t you feel happier knowing that you had plans in place so that your physical, emotional, spiritual and practical needs are met?
Morbid – in the West, we live in a death adverse society. Thinking about or talking about death can feel morbid. No one has taught us how to deal or be with death comfortably. However, thinking about your own death can help you appreciate all you have at this moment and help you live a fuller life. Living life well means you’ve planned your life.
Costly – when you think of Lawyers and Funeral Homes, these are expensive, especially if you are unsure of what you want. That’s why educating yourself in all areas of what you will want to put in place may be less costly. You and/or your family will not be making decisions under pressure.
Downloadable FREE Advanced Care Planning Kits
These are free and you can find out more here. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Navigating the medical and legal systems is complex enough, however, this guide will outline all the important topics you need to consider. You could use this to begin the unwelcome conversation with your own family.
Take control over what’s important to you. It’s easier to make decisions when you’re not in a challenging situation when they are much harder to make.
When imagining our own death, to die peacefully in our sleep would, of course, be the first choice. Regrettably, this isn’t what usually happens. Most of us want to be free of pain and suffering and this is where medical treatment, ethical and moral decisions are required.
Take action today and download your Advanced Care Planning kit, you can always change your mind later but at least you and your family will know what you want at your end of life.
We all plan for birth why not death?