Life is about decisions, will your thoughts and decisions hold you back?
1. Listen to Brendon and decide for you self (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFf3A- G0JSx_KiA0JtdwoV.)
2. Can you see how grief may have caged you?
3. How would you describe your life before the death?
4. What changes if any would you make now?
What will you Choose?
Caged, Comfortable or Charged Life: When I heard Brendon Bouchard speak on his latest video on the this idea, I couldn’t help thinking that people in grief could be described of as being caged. Their Grief and pain could make them feel they too were in a cage, trapped and perhaps angry. This led me to consider how I could help others better understand what grief is all about by using Brendon’s example.
Perhaps if I could lead them and show them a way through their sadness, hopelessness and struggle in every day life then I could prevent them from falling further down into Grief’s Abyss?
Alice remarked (from Alice in Wonderland) “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then”. The same can be said for the realization that grieving is required after a loss, your life is different and you are different because of it. You may no longer be a spouse, a parent, a son/daughter. It is coming to this acceptance and realization in your life that eventually brings you to that peace you have been wanting, needing and searching for. You are so far down into the Abyss that life can look hopeless. For it is dark, cold and lonely down there, far from your friends and family. You are cut off. You don’t realize it but you have chosen to react this way, to cut your self off and isolate. This is necessary at the time so that you can turn to your own self for comfort and healing in making sense of the chaos. You can attend to your feelings and sort them out. But this isn’t the way, you need to reach out and find someone, a friend or family member who can safely bring you back to the sunlight and out of the darkness you have been in.
When the decision is made to look to your own life and stop living in the “what ifs and should s” that can keep you stuck, you can then begin to reconnect from the grief and back to your life. A life you have essentially put on hold. It is waiting and once you reconnect, you can view it through a much different lens. You get to see anew from the eyes of the different person you have become. Just like water dripping onto rock to create change and growth or swollen rivers in spring thaw, you can carve out a different path. Your sadness and tears have carved out a difference in your self. You may find that your grief once behind you allows you to see where your life was Comfortable before and “just fine” but there was something missing. You didn’t notice it before your loss, because you didn’t know you were dissatisfied in some way. It is through this carving out of your life that you can see things differently. This is often when you may decide to live differently, make the changes that you need. Your soul is moving you along. The status quo is no longer acceptable. Just like the swollen river you need to find your new path.
Often through your discomfort and dissatisfaction you will find it is the desire for change that will prompt you to move, leave your job and relationships that no longer serve you. You may become restless and start searching, perhaps take personal growth classes or go back to school. Your life is not over, it just hasn’t begun. There is an excitement and purpose you feel each new day as you look to your brighter future you know is awaiting you.
Evolution has ensured that we humans do not remain static but are forever moving forward to expand and grow. How else do we as a Society move onwards and forwards? We get to grow through the challenges we face. It is in the wanting always to improve on the lives of those who went before us. This is what loss, grief and sadness can help us do. This is the function they have in our lives. They help us reflect on the past and the life we had with the person we have lost and also we know the person we now need to become.
The sadness, hopelessness and grief have left. You are new, shinny and wanting to expand and grow. You are ready to find your Charged life. The life you know is waiting for you out there. You are ready now, you have been reconnected, you have found your energy once more and with the courage of a warrior, you step out of your smallness into a brand new life. A life that has been waiting and longing for you to find it. Will you step out into your new Charged Life, as Brendon recommends?